Missing You
by Sar5ah
Summary: It's the only feeling she has now; loss. Perhaps her kits life will be filled with a little less sorrow than hers has. All she can do now is pray to StarClan that this hope will be recognized. LionXHeather
1. Prologue

Missing You

(based on the lovely image by the same name by JuliPwnsAll on deviantArt)

Prologue

She curls up around her kit protectively against the cold. His eyes are still shut, his breathing slow and steady. His tail twitches, just like his father's used to when she saw him sleep. Her heart aches with loss.

She sighs. That's the only feeling she has now; loss. She pulls her kit closer to her, gently so as not to hurt him. Perhaps his life will be filled with a little less sorrow than hers has. All she can do now, like she does almost every night before closing her eyes to sleep, is pray to StarClan that this hope will be recognized.

And that the others will not find out who her kits father really is.


	2. The Tunnels

Missing You

Chapter One: The Tunnels

I lay down in the apprentices den. Breezepaw took the nest beside me, and I rolled my eyes. But I couldn't complain; it was a cold night, and if I said anything, Breezepaw was sure to tell my mentor and his father, Crowfeather, and I would get an earful the next day. So I did what I normally do when Breezepelt snuggled up against me; I went to sleep.

Not long after, however, I found that I was awake. The half-moon was high in the sky, surrounded by stars that sparkled like ice; the medicine cats would be at the Moonpool tonight. I slowly rose, making sure that I didn't stir Breezepaw, and hurried out of the camp, heading for the stream that marked the border between WindClan and ThunderClan. The smell of the medicine cats was slightly stale; it had been awhile since they had passed. I gingerly dabbed a paw in the water; it made me shiver it was so cold. I quickly took a few laps of the water before jumping over the stream and landing on the ThunderClan side. I followed a trail my paws knew off by heart, towards the ThunderClan entrance to the tunnels. I had decided a change of pace tonight; instead of using the WindClan entrance, I would join Lionpaw at the ThunderClan one.

_Lionpaw_. His name, like the cold water from the stream, send shivers down my spine. He was special, he really was. I had never met a more interesting cat in all my life, which I know doesn't say much. But he was my closest friend, and I knew there was nothing that could ever tear us apart. Not even snooty Breezepaw could get between our friendship...if it was still that.

I squeezed through the opening to the tunnels quietly, and let my whiskers on stone guide me to the centre of the cave, where the ledge of DarkClan was. Lionpaw still wasn't there. I shrugged and leaped atop the ledge, my eyes flashing in the dark. I could see the imaginary Clanmates pacing below me, waiting for their deputy to arrive. It was very cold in the tunnels, colder than it was in the WindClan camp. I curled up on the ledge and waited for my deputy to come.

_Lionpaw's Perspective_

I held my breath as I passed through the dirt-place tunnel; it stunk more than usual. _Maybe it was because of Cloudtail's sore belly lately,_ I thought as I raced towards the tunnel entrance, ferns whipping back my whiskers. I pushed the thought aside as a cold wind blew over me. I shivered. If Heatherpaw was already in the tunnel's, she would be freezing. The discouraging thought pushed me onward, and I picked up speed, the half-moon shining through the leaf-stripped branches.

I neared the tunnel and slowed to a brisk walk. I pushed past the dying ferns and breathed the night in deeply. I caught a familiar scent; _Heatherpaw_! Had she gone in this tunnel instead of her own? I hurried into the tunnel's, blundering along blindly, as usual. _Now I know how Jaypaw feels!_ I thought as I burst out of the tunnel. The scent lead in here but... I looked around. The cave was empty! Heatherpaw hadn't yet arrived. Sighing, I took the deputy's place under the ledge, flopping down onto the cold, smooth stone.

"So you finally made it, hm?" an even more familiar voice purred, amused.

I looked up to see Heatherpaw peering over the edge, her eyes flashing in the dark. I purred.

"Sorrry, Heatherpaw," I began. "I-"

"That's Heather_star_, Lionclaw," she mock growled. "And you're late for the meeting of the Clan."

I blinked, confused for a moment, then nodded, realizing my mistake. "Of course, Heatherstar," I meowed, bowing my head. "Forgive me."

Heatherstar leaped off the ledge and landed gracefully before me in a way that took my breath away. She turned around to face me, a twinkle in her eyes.

And suddenly we were no longer Lionpaw of ThunderClan and Heatherpaw of WindClan: we had become Heatherstar and Lionclaw of DarkClan. And I wished as I reported to Heatherstar about what the patrols had found in the territory, that this was actually how we lived. Together.


	3. The News

Missing You

Chapter Two: The News

It was many moons later. Lionpaw (now Lionblaze) and I kept meeting each other, even after the adventure in the tunnels with the WindClan kits. Sedgekit tried to tell the others, but no one believed him. The Clan just shrugged it off. And I was glad of that.

It was nighttime again, and I was more than usually eager to meet with Lionblaze. I even groomed my fur before going to bed.

Breezepelt glared at me before heading to the warriors nests. "Why are you grooming, Heathertail? Got somewhere special to be tonight?" he sneered.

I returned his icy stare. "What does it matter to you, Breezepelt?" I retorted. "Can't I clean my fur without you sticking your nose into it?"

He looked taken aback. "Uh, no I just wondered-"

"Save your excuses, I don't want to hear them," I snapped, padding to my nest without looking back.

I lay down and risked a glance back at Breezepelt; he was talking with his mother, Nightcloud. I rolled my eyes. _He's such a mama's boy_. As soon as the thought entered my head, Nightcloud shot an evil glare at me. I matched it with a cool stare.

I then rested my head on my paws and closed my eyes, hoping that I would wake up before morning; I had been out all day, hunting for the Clan, since it was greenleaf. I soon felt Breezepelt press up against me. His presence made me uncomfortable, and I fell into an uneasy sleep, and I abruptly awoke what felt like moments later. I squinted up at the sky; clouds covered it, so I couldn't tell what time it was. Everyone around me was sleeping though; it must've been late.

I rose, as usual, and hurried out of the camp, heading for the WindClan tunnel entrance. I rushed inside, eager to meet Lionblaze. A small gust of air hit me in the face; his scent was carried on it. I padded into the main cave, glad to see him sitting there, staring up at the hole in the top of the cave. I stopped and sat down beside him, pressing up against him; he was warm.

He looked down from the hole to me, his amber eyes shining happily. "Heathertail."

The way he said my name made me shiver. But I had to tell him. I shuffled my paws. "Lionblaze-"

"I was worried you weren't going to show up," Lionblaze continued, with a bubbly voice.

"Lionblaze-" I tried again, but the words wouldn't come out.

Lionblaze looked at me, his gaze changing to one of concern. "What is it?"

I flattened my ears. "I-I'm having..."

He stared at me with his amber eyes, the ones that made my heart melt.

"...kits," I breathed.

His eyes widened almost immediately. "Great StarClan..." he whispered. He turned his gaze from me to the stone ground. "Great StarClan..." he repeated. He didn't have much else to say.

I leaned against him. "It'll be okay, though, right?" I asked, hoping that he would tell me everything would be alright, that nothing bad would happen.

He didn't respond. Just stared at the ground.

"Lionblaze?"

He turned to me, his eyes filled with worry. "I don't know..." he mumbled.

_Lionblaze's Perspective_

She pressed up against me. She was seeking comfort. But I couldn't give her any; I had none to give.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind us. I whirled around to see none other than my snooty half-brother himself; Breezepelt.

His face held a sneer I had never seen on anyone. "Ha, so _this_ is what you do every night, Heathertail."

I growled and unsheathed my claws, scraping them against the stone. "Breezepelt..." I hissed, leaning towards him menacingly. "Leave Heathertail alone."

He rolled his eyes, the sneer still evident on his face. It made me uneasy. "Oh, give it a rest, Lionblaze," he yawned, flicking his tail as if he were bored. He padded towards us a little bit, and I hissed loudly.

"Lionblaze!" Heathertail gasped as I stepped in front of her. To protect her.

"What do you want with us Breezepelt?" I asked, forcing a little bit of venom out of my voice. But only a little.

He twitched his ears. "Oh, nothing," he mewed, his tail whisking on the stone. But his eyes said otherwise.

"Tell the truth." The venom was back.

Breezepelt rolled his eyes. "Don't be so pushy..." he mumbled. When I didn't snap back he continued. "I want you two to suffer the same humility Heathertail puts me through each and everyday, since we were apprentices." He glanced at her and curled his lip.

I sent him a glare I had never set on anyone. "Breezepelt..."

"Why would you do that?" Heathertail asked softly. I glanced back at her; her eyes were glazed with sorrow.

"Why wouldn't I?" he retorted. "Telling the Clans about this little kit problem should stir up some humility, don't you think? Imagine it..." His eyes sparkled dreamily. It made me sick. "...every single cat, in both of our Clans, feeling nothing but hatred towards each other. And the other Clans will think twice as bad! They'll think ThunderClan and WindClan can't keep the warrior code." He trembled with excitement, and I unsheathed my claws so far that it hurt.

Heathertail suddenly whispered behind me. "Or you could be the father."

I whirled around her face her, my eyes no doubt showing disbelief.

Even Breezepelt sounded surprised. "I-I could what?"

"You could be the father," Heathertail repeated, louder this time. The word _father_ echoed around the cave and through the tunnels. _Our_ tunnels.

Breezepelt sniffed, but I could tell he was suddenly interested in what Heathertail had to say. "Go on."

"We could pretend that this never happened," Heathertail began slowly, choosing her words carefully. "This event here in the tunnels. When I tell WindClan about the kits, you can claim to be the father...but," she added, catching Breezepelt off guard, "if you do claim to be the father, you are not allowed to say one thing to the others." Her eyes were hard and serious. "Not even a little hint."

I saw Breezepelt assume an expression of thinking before meowing, "Alright." It sounded semi-reluctant.

It was if someone had run claws across my face. "B-but Heathertail," I stuttered as she left with Breezepelt, their pelts brushing. "What about..." I trailed off, and she turned back to look at me.

"I'm sorry," she meowed sadly, her eyes reflecting that sadness. And together with Breezepelt, she melted into the shadows and was gone.

_I'm sorry_, echoed the cave. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry..._

And I couldn't help but curse the cave; "Liar."


	4. The Gathering

Missing You

Chapter Three: The Gathering

I padded along with the rest of ThunderClan. It had been moons after my encounter with Breezepelt. If Heathertail tried to meet me in the tunnels, I wouldn't have known, because I didn't go back. It was too painful. I glanced up at the full moon; it hung there dutifully, like a constant reminder that I couldn't shred Breezepelt's flea-filled fur. I flexed my claws. It was truly a shame.

I was the last to cross the tree-bridge, but the first to scent WindClan coming down from the moor. The other two Clans were already here. I hurried after Cinderheart onto the island used for Gatherings, hoping I wouldn't have to face Breezepelt's smug face. The Clan hurried into the clearing. ShadowClan and RiverClan were already there, the leaders in the branches of the Great Oak. Firestar briskly padded to join them, while Jayfeather broke away from the Clan to join Littlecloud, Mothwing and Willowshine. I took a seat beside Cinderheart and her mother, Sorreltail, just as the WindClan cats padded into the clearing. There was a joyous air surrounding them.

Onestar leaped atop the Great Oak and gave a yowl, signalling that the Gathering was about to begin. All of the cats turned to look at the leaders.

Blackstar started his Clan's news. "Prey is good. We have had no skirmishes on any of our borders, and no sickness either," he meowed, glancing at Firestar at the mention of the borders. "All is well in ShadowClan."

Leopardstar reported the news of her Clan, followed by Firestar. Onestar was the last to speak.

"We have plenty of prey, and no trouble on our borders either," he meowed rapidly. "And," he added, his eyes shining. "We have wonderful news: one of our queens, Heathertail, has given birth to a kit."

Cats turned almost automatically to Breezepelt, who sat beside his parents, his chest puffed out, a proud gleam in his eyes. I heard them all murmur congratulations, and my pelt burned with envy. _That's my kit!_ I screamed inside. _You should be congratulating _me!_ Not that excuse for a father!_

I flexed my claws angrily.

After all the congratulating was over, Onestar meowed, "That is all." With a whisk of their tails, the leaders gathered their Clans together; the Gathering was over.

I hurried over to Breezepelt. Glancing at his over-protective mother, I mewed stiffly, "May I have a word?"

He turned and eyed me warily. He too glanced at Nightcloud, meowing, "Alright..."

I led him into a crop of bushes. Looking around to make sure no one had followed us, I meowed, "So..."

He looked at me funny.

"How's Heathertail?" I blurted. "Is she okay? How is the kit? What's its name?" I wanted to know everything about my kit. _My kit._

Breezepelt narrowed his eyes. "She's fine," he mewed cautiously. "So is the kit... it's a boy..." He seemed to almost be forcing out the words. "His name is Darkkit." Breezepelt looked out towards the lake, avoiding my happy gaze. "H-he looks just like you," he added, slightly angered.

Before I could reply, I heard Nightcloud's voice somewhere behind Breezepelt meow, "Breezepelt? We're leaving now. Hurry up."

Breezepelt nodded at the sound of his mothers voice, almost gratefully. He shot a burning stare at me, meowing, "Stay away from my kit, Lionblaze. To him, you don't exist. You're just another ThunderClan cat." He said it without emotion.

I nodded blankly. He narrowed his eyes, then padded out of the bushes, back to his Clan.

My ears flattened and my shoulder sagged, I went back to mine.

_Heathertail's point of view_

Breezepelt padded into the nursery moments after the Clan returned from the Gathering. He held a rather plump rabbit in his jaws. He placed it in front of me, his gaze hard.

I cleared my throat and made my voice sweeter than honey... well, almost. "What's wrong?" I almost sounded like I cared.

He lay down in front of me, and began eating his portion of the rabbit. Darkkit was sleeping against my belly, so I figured I could have something to eat before he woke up. As I took rapid, hungry bites, Breezepelt muttered, "I saw Lionblaze."

I pricked my ears and raised my head. His eyes darkened when he saw mine; they must have been shining.

"He wanted to know about our kit," he meowed, emphasizing the word "our". "I told him a little."

I knew very well that that wouldn't sit very well with Lionblaze; he was bound to be curious about his newborn kit. "Anything else?"

As he started to explain the news the other Clans had to say at the Gathering, I let his voice become distant. I thought about Lionblaze. _What would he think about our son? Would he want to meet him?_ I shook my head at the thought as Breezepelt meowed something about RiverClan on our border. _No, Lionblaze would do _anything_ to meet his son._

Breezepelt took the remains of the rabbit in his jaws, mumbling around it, "I have to go bury this." I nodded as he padded out, my thoughts elsewhere.

I glanced down at Darkkit as the Clan settled down for the night. My thoughts wandered to the tunnels of DarkClan, which Darkkit had been named after..._Should I bring him there?_ I wondered. I shook my head, pushing the thought aside. Lionblaze wouldn't be there tonight. He was probably in the ThunderClan camp, curling up in a nest of moss and bracken for the rest of the night. I lowered my head onto my paws. Perhaps Lionblaze would never meet his son.

I fell into a light sleep, one undisturbed by dreams.


	5. The End

**NOES! The last chapter! D: Yeah, so, I know this is late, but, how have I been doing so far? :) Good, mehopes. Oh well, if not, then this is the last chapter and you won't have to put up with this horrible writing anymore! xD (until my next story at least...*evil laughter*)**

* * *

><p>Missing You<p>

Chapter Four: The End

I saw Lionblaze after Darkkit underwent his apprentice ceremony. He sat beside his Clanmates, looking anxious.

Darkpaw pressed against me. "Mother, I'm scared. There's so many cats here..."

I winced slightly at the words of endearment I did not deserve. "Don't worry, Darkpaw. It won't be too bad. The cats are all usually very friendly."

He didn't seem to be listening. I glanced over at him; his amber eyes, so much like his father's, followed my gaze. He, too, was staring at Lionblaze. He looked at me quizzically. "Who's that?"

I wasn't prepared, and it showed; "Oh! Uh... that's Lionblaze of ThunderClan. He's a... friend of mine."

"Dad says we're not supposed to be friends with the other Clan cats." His eyes were narrowed.

"When we're at Gatherings we can," I explained, glancing icily at Breezepelt, who sat with his mother.

"Oh, okay," Darkpaw mewed cheerily. "Can I meet him?"

My heart thudded against my chest, screaming to get out. "Of course!" I replied, perhaps too quickly, and too happily. I beckoned with my tail, sniffing the clearing; it would be awhile until RiverClan arrived. Darkpaw was sure to have time with his father.

We approached Lionblaze. I quietly mewed, "Lionblaze."

He jumped when he saw who spoke. His eyes began to shine. "Oh, Heathertail!" He looked at Darkpaw. "And this is?"

"This... is Darkpaw," I mewed, excitement creeping into my voice. _Our son._

He purred. "Ah, so _this_ is Darkpaw."

Darkpaw glanced at me nervously. "Uh, hullo, Lionblaze."

"So, how are you doing with your training?" Lionblaze asked.

Glad to be done with the awkward introductions, Darkpaw meowed, "Oh. Well, I got Weaselfur... he's pretty good..." Darkpaw shuffled his paws. "...But he pushes me a bit hard..."

"That's okay," Lionblaze meowed, cuffing him over the ears. "It's the only way you'll find your strengths."

Darkpaw burst into a purr. "Alright."

I padded away quietly as the two toms continued their discussion. I sat down beside Breezepelt absently, watching Lionblaze and Darkpaw. Darkpaw unwound so perfectly, as if he and Lionblaze were meant to speak to one another.

And maybe they were.

_Lionblaze's perspective_

As I suggested some new methods of attack to Darkpaw, the RiverClan cats finally arrived. Mistystar, the new leader, yowled for attention, jumping atop the Great Oak and the Gathering began. I felt Darkpaw stiffen next to me, and I glanced down at him; his eyes were wide with fright at the sight of more cats entering the clearing.

I explained to him quietly as Blackstar complained about ThunderClan scent on the ShadowClan side of the border, "That's Mistystar, RiverClan's leader." I pointed with my tail to the other leaders. "The one with the black paws is Blackstar, leader of ShadowClan; of course you recognize your own leader; and Firestar, the bright ginger tom, is my leader."

Darkpaw looked at them all in awe. "Do they really have nine lives?" he asked, as his leader began to speak.

"Yes. They receive them from StarClan when they take the burden of leadership," I mewed.

After a while, we stopped paying attention to the leader's reports and just talked about the different Clan ways of life. I even asked him about his life; I wanted to know everything I could about my son. _Everything._

When it was time for the Gathering to end, Darkpaw, to my joy, was sad to say goodbye.

I flicked his ear playfully. "Don't worry. Just wait a moon. I'll see you then." I looked up to see Breezepelt staring at me and Darkpaw in horror. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

"Aww," he moaned. "But Lionblaze, you're so cool!" He added in a grumble, "Nothing like Breezepelt..."

"Hm?"

"He's just not always friendly to me. Sometimes I wonder if he's actually my father..."

_He's not!_ I wanted to yowl, but luckily (or unluckily) Breezepelt hurried over, the look of horror replaced by one of fury.

"Darkpaw," he growled. "Go see your mother. She was asking for you."

Darkpaw looked unconvinced, but mewed a goodbye to me quietly before hurrying up to Heathertail.

Breezepelt turned his scorching glaze onto me. "I told you to stay away from my son!" he hissed angrily.

I shrugged. "_I_ didn't approach him, Breezepelt," I meowed coolly. "He came over to me."

"Likely story," he growled, unsheathing his claws.

I struggled to keep my fur flat and my claws sheathed. "Ask Heathertail."

He sniffed. "Like she'll tell me the truth. She'll take your side." He leaned in close to my face. "If I catch you talking to my son again, I swear to StarClan, your little secret with Heathertail is going to become public." He curled his lip and whipped around, stalking over to his parents.

My tail drooped. _Never speak to _my_ son again! That's a horrible thing to ask! I just can't do that!_

But in order to protect Heathertail and Darkpaw, I vowed never to speak to my son..._Breezepelt's_ son... ever again.

_(And, a never before seen perspective...) Darkpaw's perspective_

I followed Heathertail out of the clearing and onto the tree bridge. I glanced over my shoulder to see Breezepelt exchanging hostile looking words with Lionblaze. Nightcloud stood a distance away, looking concerned as she said goodbye to a RiverClan she-cat. I turned away as a bramble thicket obscured my view.

Heathertail looked down at me as we raced along with the rest of the Clan, heading back to camp. "So, how was your time with your f...friend Lionblaze?"

I found it odd how she assumed that we were friends; after all, we had only just met. "Fine," I panted, as we slowed to a trot, nearing the thorn barrier. "I learned some new combat skills."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, like how to unbalance a foe." I added with a purr, "Weaselfur will be so impressed when he sees that I can do things that he hasn't even taught me!"

Heathertail purred. "I'm sure he will."

"Oh, and he also told me all about the Clan leaders and their responsibility, and how a good Clan leader runs their Clan, and-"

"Alright, alright," she interrupted. Her eyes looked sad. "Its time you headed to your nest."

I nodded and butted her shoulder. "Okay," I agreed, yawning. "See you in the morning, mother!"

She licked the top of my head. "See you in the morning."

I padded to the apprentice nests. Settling down into mine, I thought with longing, _I wish Lionblaze was __my father. We connect a whole lot easier, and he's fun to be around! Unlike Breezepelt..._ I closed my eyes, pushing the mutinous thoughts against my father away. No matter what, Breezepelt was my father. And there was nothing that I could do, not even pray to StarClan, to make Lionblaze my father instead.


End file.
